I'm certain Gabriel called Summer "tia," and I'm also certain I heard him refer to the "carro" across the street. I'm impressed. And mildly baffled.

My heart is with Shawn's family. He talked about Cairo as if it were Wonderland, or Neverland. And with Shawn's mom, who loves him the most of all of us. He loved her the most, too. And with Summer. That woman took great care of Shawn. She's a spectacular person.

I never met anyone who knew that boy and -didn't- love him. Half of us spent time -in- love with him. My mommy admitted to me three days ago that she'd always wished that Shawn would someday marry me. That's a dream that has lasted a decade.

I met him freshman year at H.W. Blake High School. The family showed a pic during his service of SPB at 15, hunching, looking like (as he would say) "A dork." That's the SPB I met. The one who wore socks with sandals for a semester, 'cause -I- did it --and he thought I was cool. He was the Buffy to my Wills in the Hellmouth of Blake. And the Hellmouth of Tallahassee. Pretty much... we were in Hellmouths together.

It's crazy, crazy hard, being here for -his- funeral, 'cause he is the one person I really need by me to go through the motions during this. I wouldn't have to say anything. He'd just be -right here- reading my mind and trying to get me to smoke more weed. Afterward he'd take me to his car and play slowed-down pop music to cheer me up. And offer me a Pfunk Light 100, a cigarette far superior to my brand.

This is really hard without him. But I'm so happy for him, too. Shawn was always pretty agnostic, but he always believed that Joss Whedon was God. I can say with great certainty that Shawn is in a place where there is no pain, no fear, no doubt. I believe he is happy. That he knows that everybody he cared about is all right. He knows. And he is warm, he is loved, and he is is finished. Complete.

Our Emo Shawn is finally happy.

My Emo boy is at rest, snoring.

Sweat Lodge tonight with Chief Leonard Crow Dog.

Then Rocky Horror with beer.

Pensacola rocks.

Having spent two months detoxing, learning to be happy from my own chemicals, i am happy to say that small portions of m.j. are quite beneficial to my productivity. *points* I'm even journaling again. I've recently figured out that the green was not helping my wiggy card-reading abilities; it was allowing my talkative nature to come out. After all that time in direct connection to (hell, damn near symbiosis with) the THC fairy (I've got her cell number if you need it) I had to work my -ass- off to read well without her assistance. --And now my readings have improved by 50% simply due to calming down enough to speak easily to strangers.(I  have been in contact with some supremely cool people lately, too, which helps my communication skillz.)

in other news: 
I'm re-reading The Count of Monte Cristo. Serial style is something I envy greatly about Dumas (and Dickens, for that matter), along with an inexplicable ability to get away with plagiarism (blatant plagiarism) by writing your story so much -better- than you did!  (I wonder how copyrighted the internets are, especially the bad-harrypotter-fanfiction parts of the internets.) In a serial novel each chapter is well-done because the author must treat it like an independent entity. The plots are dragged-out for word count and longevity, but -damn-, if they ain't entertaining! Dahl works like that too: each chapter is one good bedtime story for an 8-year-old. Comic books work like that. Buffy worked like that. (Most *cough* fanfiction works like that.) I want to write a novel that even -I- don't know the end to, yet. 


And the Count of Monte Cristo is -great-. Fucking great. I can't wait until the parade/kidnapping.

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Put an *asterisk* next to the books you'd rather shove hot pokers in your eyes than read
5) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.

1. *Pride and Prejudice* - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien --started it again recently
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. *Wuthering Heights* - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien halfway through book on tape
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. **Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger**
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy *
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame mommy read it to me repeatedly when i was little
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. *Emma - Jane Austen
35. *Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving*
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen *
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville read about half in a class
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett love love love her
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath*
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White another mom read to me
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad*
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole reading currently
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

31/100 --1/3 well read

Am I an anja-chakra-centric individual naturally, or a 6th chakra freak by way of environment --And is it a sticking condition? There's an emphasis on 7th. Should look up interraction between the two. Also, Jelusich (Pd.D) says that issues of a metastisized anja can be cured by focus on the heart.

Stuff i Copied from Wiki:

Sahasrara

Main article: Sahasrara

Sahasrara or the crown chakra is generally considered to be the chakra of consciousness. Its role may be envisioned somewhat similarly to that of the pituitary gland, which secretes hormones to communicate to the rest of the endocrine system and also connects to the central nervous system via the hypothalamus. The thalamus is thought to have a key role in the physical basis of consciousness. Symbolised by a lotus with one thousand petals, it is located on the crown of the head.

[edit] Ajna

Main article: Ajna

Ajna (along with Bindu, either or both are considered to correspond to the third eye) is linked to the pineal gland which may inform a model of its envisioning. Ajna is held as the chakra of time, awareness and of light. The pineal gland is a light sensitive gland that produces the hormone melatonin which regulates sleep and awakening. Symbolised by a lotus with two petals.

(Note: some opine that the pineal and pituitary glands should be exchanged in their relationship to the Crown and Brow chakras, based on the description in Arthur Avalon's book on kundalini called Serpent Power or empirical research.)

LEO
An ACTIVE sign,
keyphrase: I WILL
keyword: magnetism

Dramatic, idealistic, proud, ambitious, creative, dignified, romantic, generous, self-assured, optimistic

I know someone who
THINKS like a Leo
ACTS like a Leo
and
IS
in fact
a LEO

Happy Freakin Birthday Ms. Nicely!
(you still need to tell me what time you were born!)

I am aghast at the class conflict in Brandon-fuckin-Florida. Brandon, people. When I was growing up here it was cow pasture. Now it's a whole bunch of yuppie scum and the people that service their fine yuppie mall. Indeed, the city has even set up a barracks of sorts for mall and mini-mall employees, comprised of three or four expansive apartment complexes where you can live paycheck to paycheck after you come home from the Shitty Wok stand at Westfield Shopping Center. They're glorious little stucco boxes --and the complex management (they're in New Jersey) has done a fantastic job sticking as many square caves in one place as humanly possible.

And they're -surprised- when ghettotacular incidents pop up in the middle of their sweet little town? *scoff*

There was a swat team last night, and some serious yelling going down. Apparently, because our neighbor 200 feet away (across the pond in our back yard) is trafficking cocaine. *thumbsup*

Does this bother me as a resident?
Whatever. It's his bidness. Stupid bidness in this town, but his.
I get good impressions off of most of the people in this place.
Just a bunch of fellow low-paid employees supporting their kids.
I don't think anybody's gonna try to mess with us, anyway.
We've got a Shiva Lingam on the back porch and I get the
impression that people who see me shufflin tarot cards
all the damn time think I'm capable of giving The Evil Eye.

this whole trip to livejournal has me writing in an even more hidden journal so deeper stuff's comin out. i'm actually hand-writing, and it's pretty. i took a three hour nap today after the night of sleep i had next to a bear with a tummyache. i had a fugging crazy dream with melodrama and adventure and angst and ooooh it was -cool-. wrote it out in the tiniest hand i could muster. these dreams are few and far between and you can find 'em in my notebooks in teeny teeny chickenscratch. anyway, i'm finally far enough inside myself that my brain's acting out elaborate fantasies, like when i was a lonely little kid. i'm gonna be the next laurel k. hamilton, but better. like anne rice, but interesting.

I didn't feel like messing around with the baby gate this morning, since this is the first time in -months- it's been down and I haven't had to pivot over three feet of plastic death-trap. The baby keeps coming over to hug me 'cause he's so happy about this new freedom. He's playing with my parakeet. Who LOVES him. Crazy.

If you couldn't tell, I'm procrastinating in regard to domesticity that needs to develop before Michael comes home from work. He just dragged himself into Dillards with a nasty stomach flu, brightened by the idea of puking on a manager. Whenever he comes home, my life will be easier if I've made a couple sacrifices around the house like Cleaning Up After Michael's Ass. (I've sort of been on an unannounced strike in that department)

Shoot now Gabe's playing with the altar. The plot: to smuggle daddy's tarot cards to the birdy. Damn weirdoes.

Your results:
You are Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix 72% Riddler 71% Two-Face 67% Juggernaut 67% Mystique 67% The Joker 67% Magneto 65% Green Goblin 63% Apocalypse 62% Lex Luthor 61% Dr. Doom 61% Catwoman 61% Poison Ivy 54% Venom 48% Kingpin 42% Mr. Freeze 40%

A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz


Baby's good, mama's looney as ever, and daddy's a very good daddy.

http://blog.myspace.com/thatwasnifty

:c)

You guys are wonderful.

That journal entry was written by my new room mate after she thought she signed me out of lj. I couldn't figure out why hotmail was showing me all these consoling comments when I haven't posted more than in the many bitchy parenting groups I'm part of. (For a fun time, see booju_newju --it's a family-oriented debate group. people are BITCHES.)

Updates...

Gabriel is almost a year old.
Satruday brings the big oh-one.
He's walking, he's picking up on words like nobody's business --He says "Jen" and "A-choo" and "Mama, Dada" "Hi, Guy!" and "Kitty!" and last night I told him "NO" and he said "Uh -huh-" and that went on for like five minutes.
He chuckles when he's doing something evil, like escaping to the back yard. Won't wear shoes. Takes off his pants all the time. Plays with poo. And Michael won't, won't, won't let me order him a Disney Princess cake for his birthday.

Michael and I aren't rocky.
(Finally.)
We're fuckin -married- mind you
(No, NOT literally)
so we argue and bitch and moan all the damn time.
But we lurve.
He's studying Eastern thought and working in the men's department of Dillards (laugh if you need to, my mom did).
I'm reading all the novels I can get my hands on because this semester off will be the catalyst for my first Great Work. *cough* I'm still on my tarot kick. And you haven't heard anything from me because a)I use my blog @ myspace, and b)This has been THE hardest GOD DAMNDEST semester of my entire damn LIFE. Yeah, I know some of you are taking Russian and shit, but Spanish with an eleven-month-old grabbing for your book and throwing tantrums is no piece of cake.

Oh and the whole campus thinks we're swingers, because we have big mouths and no shame. Score.

Life sucks. Guess I should've realized that a long time ago. Thankfully school's out til January but I still have work. Relationships suck as well right now, or maybe they do all the time I really don't know. Maybe whoever it was that told me aquarius and taurus don't work out was right. I think it's time for a break and time for a change. I need something different. I'm sick of school even though I don't have much more before my degree. Maybe I'll apply to an actual college in the middle of nowhere and have everything taken care of for me, I mean that's what my sisters have. Why can't I have it? Both of them are either married already or are planning on getting married very soon. I don't know what I want in my life anymore. Maybe it's time for me to try new people or start a new relationship. All I'm trying to say, is that I'm done with life and I'm done with love and I want to be on my own.

http://b.n.greene.googlepages.com/scarletlady <--yay!

Pics of kid to come, but we seem to have misplaced the camera.

my our wiggles :c)

So that's how this works. wait, how what works? i focused on that sentence for the last two and a half minutes while waiting for Blogger to fix it's servers, and i don't even know what it means any longer.

( or )

If you had me alone...locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you do with me? All posts will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then repost this in your LJ- or don't. You might be surprised with the responses you get.